There Are Some Topics That Should NEVER Be Discussed
I don't care how much you love your parents, it is always awkward when your mom or dad gets a brand spankin' new significant other. It is even more awkward when your mom wants to talk "shop" with you.
It makes absolutely no difference that you're now a legal "adult" OR that your mom was a Biology teacher (meaning sex-talk was always more this is the penis rather than now, honey...on your wedding night.)
I will STILL cover my ears and start singing "This is the song that never ends...," in an effort to avoid permanent scarring because any sentence that involves these phrases: "Tony thinks...," "my boobs," "sugar-pie," or "I wish you were here too..hehe." are more than enough to make me want to vomit.
It's only fair that I have this reaction, considering I grew up in an entirely Dominant Male-Free Zone. I don't know any better and I've never seen my mother in love with anything other than her children and perhaps Breyers ice cream.
So I don't care if you think I'm being childish, hell, I'll be the first to admit it. I just firmly believe there are some topics that shouldn't come up at the dinner table, the grocery store, the gym, or in LIFE because I will avert eye contact and start my mental ritual to rid myself of horrid images - like mom and her lover "doin' it".
I know I will never be old enough and/or mature enough to accept the fact that my mother still has a working vag.
Ew. Ew. Ew.
Comments
Actually there are damn few people I want that kind of detail from.
My mom isn't one of them.
Ew Ew Ew is right!!!!
I get very insulted when my children (who are all now old enough to have had sex, and probably have) act as though I am a withered old stick who should not even be kissing Husband, never mind having sex with him.
I discovered recently the aphrodisiac properties of having a totally child-free house - best sex for ages.
Plus, you know, and going out on a limb here, she may very well be telling you these things knowing it is too much for you, to get back at you for all the embarrassing moments caused by you in her past. I do that. Sorry, kids.
haha...you're probably right bookmole. i don't doubt for a second that this is a little revenge. in fact, i probably deserve it! 4 times over.
and honestly, i hope to still be gettin' it on when others think i'm past my prime. one of my fave jokes is about the old couple in the grocery store that go in to pay for their groceries with a massive jar of quarters. the sales lady asks, where did you get all these quarters? and the couple just snicker to themselves and say..well, every time we've had sex, we put in a quarter. sales lady says must have taken you a long time to collect all these, the couple smile and say..oh no, this is just from this month! lmao.
and maybe i didn't really give you the full extent of the story. i guess what pisses me off and why i don't want to hear all this is because i don't like the guy. i flat out dislike him. you can ask me why, but there wouldn't be enough blog space in the whole of vox to properly answer that question and to pyscho-analyze my feelings about the situation in general. so let me just say, I don't like him..therefore sex talk is beyond off limits.
oh! and dude, feel free to disagree. if you can't disagree with your blogger here...where can you? that's the whole reason my little confessions was started.
bring.it.on. :)